She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
