I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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