Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
