Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
