You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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