She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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