brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My liver just broke up with me...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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