Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
