Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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