I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
