Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
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If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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