Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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