You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
