You smell like stripper and shame
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
