Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize