Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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