i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize