I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
