i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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