I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
