He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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