You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
