So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
