so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is my gift to your gina
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
