they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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