Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize