i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
