So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
