Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
