my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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