i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
