This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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