Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
wow bdsm is so cute
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
