suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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