He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
