I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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