im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
