Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
