mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
