he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
