I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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