I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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