She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
