fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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