Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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