if you like me you must not know who I am
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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