Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
