I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
