guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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