I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
