u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
