So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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