Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize