I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize