fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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