I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
